Monday, February 21, 2011

End of the Nom

"Do you think it's ok to drink this wine? I let it breathe." (Anonymous, at approximately 0930 hours referring to wine from last night.)

Summary of 5 day trip

2 visits to les grands magasins (Galeries Lafayette and Le Bon Marche)
4 buckets of moules
3 crepes (eaten within span of 1 hour - see photo below)
2 servings Berthillon ice cream (eaten within span of 2 hours after said crepes)
1 religieuse au chocolat
4 macaroons
1 giant cookie consumed (3 left behind at L'Astrance along with much needed water)
Countless cafes aux laits
Several pounds of butter (4 pats consumed in one sitting. 1/2 pat eaten without anything else)
4+ hours spent watching Top Chef marathon in French
0 salade nicoise
Several liters of French wine
2 bottles champagne (1 very shiny flashy - see Saturday)
2 shots compliments of Brazilian bartender
5 min to finish drinks and settle bill after feigning interest in meeting said bartender at random club, and then escaping in other direction
1 pair of socks put on with assistance ("I'm an invalid" - person shall remain anonymous. Wonder who this could be?)
Zero interest in learning number of pounds gained from gluttony on this trip


Step 1 - admitting the problem.

"Domaines Ott rose, Hermes bracelet, LV bag with personalized monogram (child #3), La Maison du Chocolat, Veuve Clicquot with insulated carrying bag, bright red Lancel handbag (child #4), several bottles of wine and various Provence dish towels. I need to go over to spenders anonymous!" - Anonymous

(I heart Bordeaux)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Le 4eme jour du nom

Minimal posts today due to NOD. 

Failed attempt to eat at Ralph's a second time = another dinner of moules + crepes + Berthillon + Domaines Ott + Camembert

"You didn't see The Marais."
"I didn't come to Paris to sightsee. I came here to shop."

"Ok, after Notre Dame, enough of this tourist b.s. Let's shop." (Most stores closed as it was Sunday, but still managed to find the exceptions and dropped some Euro.)

Le troisieme jour du nom (Saturday)

First water of the day consumed compliments of the Louis Vuitton section of Le Bon Marche.

"Why are there no feet?" - Anonymous, in search of a new child

Too bad monogramming is limited to only two letters - HL or HM makes no sense.

"I love being us."

"I think I burned my mouth (on escargots)."
"Take a break dude."
"Why would I? Are you insane?"

"Basically, if I could eat the butter without the bread, I would."
"No way, that would be the ultimate in gluttony." Five seconds later, "Ok let's try it."

"Oh we're going shopping and I'm blowing another $2000."

"Pet the chinchilla."
"Yeah it's soft. Go f*&% yourself dude."

"I think I'll keep this purse. What's $500?"
"Two meals at FL or one meal at FL and two bottles of wine."

"Should we get another coffee?"
"Yeah but let's get one later. For now let's focus on shopping."

No nap, but lots of shiny flashy to ensure a productive Night of Drinking.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Le deuxieme jour du nom

Sure couldve used some water this morning...

Having the waiter chase you for leaving the wrong amount of money for the check = no more visits to the closest cafe to the hotel

3.5 hour lunch at L'Astrance where round eyes are a minority.  No presentations like FL, but surprise wine pairings.

Toasted bread soup

Warm brioche with almond, black truffle

Monkfish, spinach 

Pork, walnut and parmesan

Baby lamb, black truffle and eggplant

Nougat white chocolate kumquat, apple tartine, mango sorbet

"Americans are like fois gras. We stuff ourselves past the point of fullness, unlike the French who only eat when hungry." - Anonymous

Travelers tip: Watching a puppet show on the metro and collapsible seats don't mix.

Shopping on the Champs Elysées burns calories especially if making multiple beverage pitstops.

Sugar high after visit to La Maison du Chocolat, sugar low after being turned away at Four Seasons George V bar - at least the WC is nice.

Continuing to chase shiny flashy = Anonymous purchase of bracelet and red headed stepchild 

Yes, Anonymous, you're right - you can take the girl out of the hajj but you can't take the hajj out of the girl. My built in water rod even works on the Champs Elysées.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Le premier jour du nom nom nom

Snack 1: Cafe au lait and tartine while waiting for Anonymous.

Lunch: Ralph's (no reservations needed and no presentations but still managed to almost empty the bowl of fried olives and baked nuts with sea salt - taking the metro burns a lot of calories especially when lugging a suitcase that could house a large midget). Insider's tip - they use both lobster claw and tail in their salad. Thanks for asking, Anonymous.

Snack 2: after being distracted by so much shiny flashy on Saint Germain, and preventing someone from getting clipped by traffic (this isn't London - look left) while staring at Dior, found patisserie. Could've saved on wrapping as contents were eaten before reaching next stop (see purchase of snack 3 below).

Purchase of snack 3: after being distracted by more shiny flashy, found Monoprix to stock up on water. Exited store with two bottles of wine, cheese, and fig spread.

Snack 3: while consuming above items, realize water is missing among purchases. Continue consuming and chasing shiny flashy.

Tentative plans for tomorrow: spending the money just found in my pocket. Merci #5!